Landon wasn't in good shape at all. I walked into the hospital room that Mrs. Isert had told me about and saw him lying in the bed, tubes sticking out of his arms and his head wrapped in some kind of bandage or gauze. I saw a slight red stain on it, and figured that he had some kind of head injury that had caused him to bleed. Even though I knew he was hurt, something about his prone position made him somehow more attractive.
“You must be Liam.” I turned to face the voice and saw a small-framed woman, who looked a lot like Landon, smiling at me kindly.
“Yes, ma'am,” I responded as I shook her hand.
“I'm Mary, and this is my husband Phillip.” She indicated a larger man standing in the corner, his arms crossed on his broad chest. He nodded at me silently, and I responded in kind.
“So...how bad is it?” I asked softly. I turned back to look at Landon, and she placed her hand comfortingly on my back.
“It's pretty bad,” she replied bluntly. “He's got some serious head injuries that I don't understand, quite honestly. He's also got some internal injuries that are likely going to be problematic. The doctors said that if he makes it through this first night, his chances of survival increase dramatically.” She didn't even pause when delivering this news, and I could tell it was something that she was learning to accept.
“How did this happen?” I asked, still looking at the prone form of Landon as he lay helpless in the bed.
“We're not sure exactly. He was attacked by someone, but we can't be sure who. He was hanging out with a friend after his detention today, and he found Landon outside his house like this. He called 911 and may have saved Landon's life.”
“Do you know who the friend was?” I asked, finally ripping my eyes away from the hospitalized boy to look at her.
“I only know his first name was Jake,” she told me softly.
“Thanks for telling me, ma'am. Would...would it be OK if I stayed here tonight? I'd like to be here for m...Landon.” I blushed slightly as I recovered from almost calling him “my Landon.” He wasn't my boyfriend, nor did I feel like I actually had any claim on him at all. However, something about seeing him injured and hurt made me feel somehow more connected to him.
“That's fine by me, if it's approved by your father.” I looked at Mr. Isert, and he nodded his silent agreement with his wife. I suddenly wondered if he ever said anything at all. I pulled out my phone and called my dad. After a semi-argument that I was embarrassed for Mrs. Isert to hear, he agreed to let me stay at the hospital overnight, so long as I went to school the next day. I agreed, as there were things that I wanted to talk to Jake about anyway.
Nothing developed over the night at the hospital, but I felt better knowing that I would have been there if something had happened with Landon. His mom agreed to call me at school if anything changed in his condition, and she drove me to school after taking me by my house to get a change of clothes and spray on some body spray.
“Jake, can I talk to you for a few?” I asked as I approached the tangled mass of limbs on the floor that I knew to be Tommy and Jake.
“Um, sure,” he responded uneasily.
“Alone?” I asked. I stressed the word while looking between him and his boyfriend. He stood up, and he and I started to wander aimlessly through the halls. “Landon was attacked last night.” I don't know why I thought that could be the best opening phrase, but it was the first thing that came into my mind.
“Yeah, I'm the one who called the ambulance for him.”
“I know that. His mom told me. I guess what I meant to ask is do you have any idea who could have possibly done it?”
“No way, Liam!” He was outraged by the fact that I would imply him knowing anything and withholding the information from the police. “You know how I feel about you guys. I would definitely have told people if I knew who attacked him.”
I ran my fingers through my hair and fell back against a locker. “I know Jake,” I breathed. “It's just...” I trailed off, unable to finish any thoughts that I may have had.
“What is it?” Jake pressed his body onto mine in what I slowly realized to be a hug.
“I don't wanna lose him, Jake. This is all way too similar to what happened to Mom. He's just a few rooms down.” I wrapped my arm around his back. The hug was surprisingly comforting.
“Liam, I know it's hard. It's gotta be bringing up bad memories. But Landon's going to be OK.”
“How do you know?” I managed to choke out.
He pulled away just enough to look into my eyes. “You just gotta have faith in some things. After a lifetime of catching shit, something has to go your way, right?”
I chuckled slightly at that, and nodded. I knew that's what he wanted, and I didn't want to disappoint my friend. “You like him, don't you?” he asked with a devious smile.
I had to nod. “Yeah, I think I do. Is that bad? I shouldn't like a friend, should I?”
“It's never stopped me before,” he replied with that cocky smirk.
I rolled my eyes slightly. “Do me a favor,” he said, again looking deep into my soul. His eyes had no problem holding mine.
“What's that?” I asked.
“When he wakes up, tell him. There's no point in hiding it and you wouldn't wanna lose him before you get him, would you?”
“No, I guess you got a point there, Jake. I'm gonna do it.”
“Good. Now let go of me before I have to file for sexual harassment.” He giggled, and I let go of his thin body with an embarrassed tinge on my cheeks. “Now on to first hour with you,” he said playfully.
“Actually, I have somewhere else that I need to go first. Do you know where Kenneth Anthony's first hour is?”
“Kenneth who? Oh, yeah, that guy. Not a clue.” The way he said it made it sound like he wouldn't say or even think Kenneth's name willingly. There seemed to be a lot more to the story than I knew.
“I guess I'll just see him in sixth hour then,” I responded. I had an odd feeling that Kenneth had something to do with Landon being attacked, and I was going to find out about it. I had told Kenneth earlier that day that it was Landon who had told me the story of Tommy and Kenneth, and then Landon ended up being attacked later that night. Something about that seemed way too coincidental for my liking.
In band, we were told that “in an effort to promote diversity and bring together the town of Riverton,” our band and the one from Riverton High were going to play a joint concert in their gym in about a week. We were to play the pieces we had been working on, and hopefully not suck as much as we had been. The conductor didn't say that last part, but it seemed like he was hinting at it to me.
Lunch was a weird event without Landon being there. While Landon, Tommy, Jake and I were all a group, conversations often existed mostly between Tommy and Jake or Landon and me. It was like we were two groups that had formed together into one larger group. Without Landon at school, though, I felt as if I was left out. Jake and Tommy conversed casually and easily and, while Jake tried to pull me into the conversation on a number of occasions, I felt really awkward. Something about Tommy didn't feel right, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I just assumed that he was mad at me for the whole Kenneth thing.
“I'll catch you guys later,” I told them as I stood up from the table after a long period of not being able to say anything. “I got some stuff I gotta go do.”
They nodded, and I walked away from our table. I made my way out of the cafeteria and towards the soccer field. I sat in the shade underneath a tree, and watched the guys on the field who believed that practicing their shots were more important than eating.
“Hey,” I heard an awkward voice to my right say. For a moment I thought it was Landon, but realized that it was Kenneth sitting next to me.
“You,” I said, more than a bit of confrontation in my voice as I stood up from my spot.
“Me?” He questioned.
“You're the one who attacked Landon!” I accused.
“What? Landon was...?”
“Yes, Landon was attacked,” I cut him off. “Don't play dumb with me. You're the one who did it!”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He stood up as he asked me that. “I went straight home last night after our talk, and I never left my house.”
“Bullshit!” I spat at him. “I told you that Landon told me about you and Tommy, and he ends up in the hospital that night? I somehow doubt that's a coincidence.”
“I wouldn't ever attack somebody for something that stupid,” he challenged. “You may wanna take a look at your own friends first, though.”
“Jake was the one who called 911.”
“I'm not talking about Jake,” he told me.
I was at a loss for words, so I said the most hurtful thing I could think of. “I don't blame Tommy for a single thing that he did to you.”
The next thing I knew, I was rolling down the hill that led down to the soccer field. I felt a weight on top of me, and realized that Kenneth had tackled me in rage. We rolled onto the field and continued our miniature brawl for a few minutes until the strong arms of security ripped us apart. I tried to fight my way towards him, and he towards me, but neither of us was a match for the men who were paid to protect our school.
We were taken unceremoniously to Mrs. Stone's office, where we were watched over closely until we were let in to see the overweight Principal of our school. “If you two boys lay another finger on each other in this office, I will see to it that you are both expelled,” were her first words as the two of us took seats in the chairs that were on the near side of her desk.
She walked around the desk and took a seat on the edge of it. I took a brief moment to wonder how it held the strain. “What on earth could possess you two boys to fight on the soccer field? It's things like this that are going to get funding for this school stopped completely! The point of this school is to have a place where boys like you can come to get away from all that...all that crap.”
“Mrs. Stone,” Kenneth replied, “I made a mistake today. I lost my cool and I deeply regret it.” He was trying to sound calm, but I could hear a layer of loathing hidden shortly beneath the surface.
“What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Vale?”
“I said some things that I probably shouldn't have said,” I replied, casting my eyes down to the ground. “And I'm sorry.”
“I'm very disappointed in you,” she responded. “You had such a good record in school, up until recently, when your mom passed away. I'm going to suspend you both for a week. You can use my phone to call a ride for yourselves, and don't come back until your suspension is over.”
That was probably the least desirable phone call I have ever made in my life. To say Dad was unhappy with me was the understatement of the century. The worst part was that he didn't even yell the entire time we were on the phone. He was saving it for when he picked me up from school.
“So, your Mom passed away?” Kenneth asked as we sat in the office, waiting for our rides. Mrs. Stone had left, but there was a security camera perched ominously in the corner to make sure we didn't fight.
“No shit,” I responded tersely.
“I'm sorry, man,” he consoled softly.
“Save your pity party for someone else,” I snapped. “Mom dying has nothing to do with who I am. If you hated me before, you hate me now. Don't try to pretend that you don't.”
It looked like he was about to respond, but he was cut off by the door opening. I gulped as in walked my dad. “Liam, it's time to go,” he told me calmly. I stood up and stared at the ground as I shuffled out of the office and followed him out to his car.
“Dad, I'm really sorry,” I started as soon as we got into the car.
“What the hell were you thinking?” he exploded. “You get into a fight at your old school over being gay, and now you get sent here and you fight again? Why? Why, Liam? What has gone so terribly wrong for you that you've turned out this way?”
I shot my dad a glare. “You know what went wrong, Dad? Everybody I care about is being lost! First Mom dies, and then you get fucking DISTANT and now Landon is lying in a hospital bed, attacked by Kenneth! God forbid I get to act out once in a while to stand up for someone that I love!”
“What do you mean distant?” he asked. “I have been busting my ass trying to get you and Brandon the best life that I can give you, and this is how you repay me?”
“This is the best life you can give us?” I laughed in his face, and I saw him grip the steering wheel in rage. “Dad, I don't give a shit about all the money problems and all that. Did it ever occur to you that I need somebody to be there for me? How many times have we had a real heart-to-heart talk since Mom passed? Maybe I'm going through some things that I don't know how to deal with!”
“Stop using that fucking language!” He yelled back at me. “I don't know how to deal with this either. But acting out and punching every kid who calls you a name isn't going to bring Mom back.”
We pulled into the driveway and we both got out of the car, the shouting match continuing as we made our way into the house. “I'm not acting out to bring Mom back! I know she's dead. I'm acting out because I'm tired of being abused and kicked around!”
“Yeah sure, you're not acting out. You've been acting out ever since you decided you were a fag after Mom died! The straight boy was hurt, so a homo was born!”
Tears filled my eyes as I heard my own father utter what was for me the most profane of insults. I ran up the steps and slammed the bathroom door behind me. I locked it shut, and fell back against the wall in tears. My own dad had just called me a fag. Just when I thought nothing more could go wrong in my life, just when I needed him the most, he hurt me the worst.
I had nothing. My Mom was dead, I had hurt Landon, and now even my own dad hated me. I stood up and looked in the mirror over the sink, surveying the damage that was done in my fight with Kenneth. My face was smeared with cuts and dirt, and I had what was likely to develop into a black eye, on the left side. Other than that, not much damage was done. I wished that Kenneth had done more to hurt me physically. Maybe it would take away from the mental pain. I knew one thing that would, however. I reached into the medicine cabinet, and grabbed every pill bottle that was in there.
This story is Copyright © 2010 by Andy Deats. It cannot be reproduced without express written consent.
The image is Copyright © 2010 by Colin Kelly. It cannot be reproduced without express written consent.
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