A Love Never Meant to Be

By Shadow

  1. As I stand in the hallway waiting for class to start
  2. My eyes catch a glimpse in the corner of my eye
  3. You come to my direction not noticing my presence
  4. I study you and can only conclude
  5. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
  6.  
  7. As the days pass on I realize there is something different about you
  8. Something that my mind simply refuses to let go
  9. There’s something in your eyes that draws me to you
  10. And whenever you glance my way
  11. I simply cannot look away
  12.  
  13. As the weeks go by I know that I need to see you outside this crowded hallway
  14. I walk up to you, only to find myself speechless
  15. No matter the times I try, I cannot find my voice
  16. But when you see me, you look up in my direction
  17. With that glimmer in your eyes
  18.  
  19. The weeks become months and the months become a year
  20. I gave up on trying to find my voice with you, thinking I’d never see you again
  21. But then I see down the distant hallway
  22. You, the beauty with the eyes that capture the soul
  23.  
  24. I feel my heart jump and my mind starts to whirl
  25. When I see you in my class, not seeing I was there
  26. I know this must be destiny, for us to see each other again
  27. Something wants us to be closer than we thought possible I believed
  28.  
  29. As I sat in the lounge, ready to read a book
  30. I saw you look my way and start over to me with a smile on your face
  31. As you approached I believed this was the moment I was waiting for
  32. The time to see you outside these walkways must be now
  33.  
  34. As you sat beside me we began to talk
  35. I listened to you speak, but more for your voice which raptures my soul
  36. You spoke of school and your plans for the future
  37. But at the next moment I realized my future would be full of sadness when you spoke of…
  38. Your girlfriend
  39.  
  40. I didn’t know what to say or what to do, so I continued to smile
  41. Inside I felt my very soul beginning to shatter and fade away
  42. I don’t remember what you said after that, only that you didn’t notice the pain in my eyes
  43. I’m glad you didn’t
  44.  
  45. We became friends after that day, finding we had much in common
  46. Time went on and I summoned my courage and asked if you’d want to hang out
  47. I’m glad I asked
  48. We went to the movies, we went to each other’s houses and hung out with our friends
  49. We were becoming inseparable
  50.  
  51. All through that time my feelings for you never faded…not once
  52. Even after meeting your girlfriend and seeing that smile on your face with her
  53. They never went away…not for a second
  54. I cried quite often thinking of you, sometimes you’d see my eyes and ask what was wrong
  55. But I just would smile and say I had something in my eye
  56.  
  57. I wish I could have told you sooner, but I didn’t…because I thought…I thought
  58. I thought I could handle loving you but never being with you
  59. Until one day…
  60. You told me
  61. You were getting married
  62.  
  63. I don’t know what I felt at that moment for it still seems a blur
  64. But again, I just smiled and said I was happy for you
  65. You invited me along…and I knew…I knew I couldn’t do this any longer
  66. You wanted me to be your best man and I agreed to it
  67. I still don’t know why
  68.  
  69. The ceremony was elegant and tasteful, with brilliant flowers and beautiful tapestry
  70. I could barely hold myself together, knowing you would be out of my reach forever
  71. But I held on…I held on for you
  72. “Just hold on a little longer” I would tell myself
  73.  
  74. She came out in a spectacular white dress, with a smile as wide as the ocean
  75. As she approached, I could see your face becoming bright with joy
  76. And my heart was at its limit
  77.  
  78. As the priest read on, he came to stop and asked if anyone had any objections
  79. I realized what would happen next
  80. And I couldn’t hold on anymore…not even for you
  81. I moved around them and went down the aisle towards the door
  82. All the while, your eyes staring after me in bewilderment
  83.  
  84. I was moving to my car to leave forever when you stopped me…with a hand on my shoulder
  85. As I turned slowly, with tears running freely down my cheeks
  86. You asked me what was wrong
  87.  
  88. I told you I can’t be your friend anymore
  89. You looked stunned and asked me why
  90. I bared my soul and told you I loved you since day one and it’s always been that way
  91. I thought I could handle this but I couldn’t and I never will be able to again I told you
  92. I told you I was moving away but I wouldn’t tell you where because I didn’t…I didn’t
  93. I didn’t want to be reminded of you anymore
  94. And as I looked into your saddened eyes, I realized I’d never see you again
  95. I closed the gap between us and kissed you for the first and last time
  96. I gazed into your watering eyes as I said I’ll never forget you as I began to walk away
  97.  
  98. I realized how much this was like the first time I saw you
  99. As I left you standing there with tears streaming down
  100. Seeing you, with that sparkle in your eye that first drew me to you…
  101. I knew…I’d never find anyone like you…the love that was never meant to be…
  102.  
  103. I turned and looked into that sparkle one last time to say
  104. Goodbye…
  105. Justin

—Shadow