“Carson, since we’re going there do you want to take the clothes you got for your birthday to Hathaway House now?”

“I suppose I could. Otherwise I’ll have to do it Sunday.”

He had such a sad expression that I decided to say something that I thought might cheer him up.

“Or you could leave them here. There’s plenty of room in my closet and dresser. I’ll make a drawer just for you in the dresser. That way when you come over you’ll have these things to change into. You won’t have to pack. Just leave your toothbrush and whatever else you have. This will be like your home when you come over.”

He smiled. “So it’s okay if I come back to see you?”

“You dufus, of course! You’re my best friend, why wouldn’t you come back to see me and to stay over?”

“Thanks, David. That makes me real happy.”

“It makes me real happy too. Now, let’s go get your laptop.”

It was cool outside, so I put on a jacket and Carson put on a fleecy and we went downstairs to the kitchen.

“Mom, we’re going over to Hathaway House and get Carson’s laptop. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine. When will you be back?”

“About an hour.” I looked at Carson and he nodded.

“Can I go too?” Lynn asked. “I don’t have anything to do and I think it would be interesting to see that place.”

“Lynn, I don’t know. That’s an all-boys facility.” Mom obviously wasn’t too sure about Lynn coming along. “Carson, do they let girls go in to visit Hathaway House?”

“I’m not sure, but I think so. I don’t see why they wouldn’t be able to. Maybe not the dorm, though. Guys tend to go to the shower without wearing anything.”

“Maybe you should check first.”

“That’s probably a good ideal. I’ll phone.”

He took out his cell and after dialing we could hear his side of the conversation.

“Hi, Linda, it’s Carson. … I’m gonna come to pick up my laptop, and I’m bringing my friend David to see what Hathaway House is like. Is that okay? …. Yeah, he’s the same age as me, fifteen. …. Cool. His sister Lynn wants to come too. She’s the same age, fifteen. …. Yeah, her mom says it’s okay if it’s okay with you. …. They both just want to see what it’s like at Hathaway House. …. Sure, I’ll put her on, just a sec.”

Carson held out the phone to Mom. “Linda wants to talk to you.”

Mom took the phone.

“Hi, Linda. I’m Cynthia Dempsey. Carson’s spending the weekend with my son David. My daughter Lynn is interested in going along with Carson and David to see Hathaway House. I was thinking that because it’s an all-boys’ facility that might not be appropriate. …. Alright. Can you hold on just a minute?” She put down the phone.

“Barb, when are you being picked up to go ice skating?”

“Donna’s supposed to be here at ten o’clock. It’s a couple minutes after, so any time now.”

Mom picked up the phone and resumed her conversation with Linda. “We’ll be there in about twenty minutes. …. I’m looking forward to the tour. …. Thanks. …. Bye.” That meant the call ended, and she gave the phone back to Carson.

“I guess you’ve figured out that Lynn and I are coming along, and Linda is going to give us a tour. Then Carson can take you to see his dorm room, David. We’ll leave as soon as Barb’s ride gets here.”

Lynn pouted. “I don’t get to see the dorms? And the showers? With hunky naked guys walking around? Foo!”

Mom gave her a stare. “Don’t get smart, Lynn. Would you want a strange boy to walk into the bathroom while you’re taking a shower?”

“No. I was just joking.”

I started talking to divert Mom’s attention from Lynn. “Is it okay if we walk? Carson and I were going to walk. It’s only about ten minutes from here. Right, Carson?”

“Yes.”

“Alright. Lynn, if we’re walking we’d better get our coats.” Mom and Lynn headed upstairs.

Carson asked Barb, “Where do you go to ice skate?”

“Civic Park. They set up an outdoors rink and it opened right after Halloween. It’s very cool.” She grinned.

“Oh, no! Not another punster!” Carson shouted.

We all laughed. A car pulled into the driveway and I could see Barb’s friend Donna run to the front door.

Barb shouted up the stairs, “Mom! Donna’s here. I’m going now.”

Mom walked downstairs and hugged Barb, “See you later. Have fun!” Barb ran to the front door as Mom called after her, “Don’t run in the house! And don’t slam….” She was cut off as Barb slammed the front door. She looked at Carson and Lynn, shook her head, and grinned.

She put on her coat. “We all ready?”

We were, so she turned on the alarm and we went out the front door. I was the last one out, and I didn’t slam it closed. Mom locked the door.

Carson and Mom walked a few steps ahead of me and Lynn. It sounded like Mom was giving him the third degree about Hathaway House.

Lynn asked me, “You like Carson a lot, don’t you, David?”

“Yeah, I know it’s weird, but in less than two days he’s become my best friend.”

“Isn’t he more than that?”

“Sure. If he becomes our foster brother it’s like we’ll be almost like triplets.” As soon as I said that, I realized that I’d told Lynn something I shouldn’t have.

“I never thought about that. It would really be cool. But what I meant was not just that you like Carson a lot, it’s that you really, really, like him.”

I stopped and looked at her. “What do you mean?”

She stood there and grinned. “Come on, David. I see how you two look at each other. You don’t just like him as a best friend. You like him more than that, a lot more than that. And he likes you the same way.”

I just stood there looking at her. I didn’t know what to say.

“I’m serious, David. And I think it’s cool. Remember what you said, ‘gay is in’? Well, it is.”

“I’m not gay!”

“What difference does that make? You’re free to pick and choose who you like regardless. A girl, or a guy, whichever you want, whoever you want, whenever you want. Who cares any more? No one our age. It’s just the old fogies who worry about stuff like that.”

“Hey, you guys!” Mom was shouting at us. While Lynn and I had been standing and talking, she and Carson had walked a half block ahead of us, and were at the corner waiting for the signal. We started walking.

“Think about it, David. Talk to Carson about it, he’s your best friend. Don’t put labels on yourselves. Do what feels right for both of you.” She smiled. “I love you, David. You’re my brother. Be happy. Like anyone you like. Love anyone you love. That’s what life is all about.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“Always have been and always will be. I read a lot, and not just science fiction. I look things up on the internet, Google and Wikipedia.” She poked me in the arm and grinned.

We hurried up and got to the corner just as the signal changed, and crossed with Carson and Mom. I expected the third degree about why we were standing talking to each other, but Mom didn’t say anything about it. I guess she figured it wasn’t a big deal.

What Lynn said made me realize that I had a lot to think about. Did I like Carson that way? Geez, that is such a loaded question. At least I’m asking it of myself! If I did like him that way, then did it mean I was gay? Shit, another loaded question. I’d never questioned myself about being gay. I’d never even thought that I might be gay. What if I was gay, or partly gay and partly straight? In Health and Living we learned that sexuality is genetic. We also learned that being straight or gay isn’t an on-off switch, it’s like a balance control on a stereo where you can be anywhere between all straight and all gay.

It was fun when Carson and I showered together this morning, especially when I dried his sensitive parts which was a lot of fun for both of us. Then last night we’d kissed, more than once, and I loved kissing Carson because he was the one I kissed. I wouldn’t want to kiss some other guy, even one of my close friends. It was Carson I wanted to kiss. Kissing him made me get excited. And I think he got excited too. What did that mean? In Health and Living we were told we’d get horny sometimes. That made me giggle. Like someone has to teach us that we’re going to get horny? And we’d get horny sometimes? Try all the time! But could that be all that was between me and Carson, that it’s just that we’re both horny? We were told we’d probably be attracted to a lot of different people, both girls and boys, and that it was natural and all part of puberty. Did that make any difference? Shit! Why did life have to be so complicated? Why did life have to be so difficult!

I thought about all of these things so much as we walked that every so often Lynn would grab my arm and pull me along.

I came back to the present when Carson announced that we’d arrived at Hathaway House. I’d expected a big square building made of concrete and painted an ugly shade of green with a Hathaway House sign. Instead we were in front of an older two-story house in the middle of a residential area. There was no sign, nothing to tell us that this was a foster facility.

“Wow,” I said. “I sure didn’t expect Hathaway House to look like a house. It looks like any other house on this block.”

“Come on, let’s go in. Linda is waiting to give you guys a tour.”

We entered into a small waiting room. There was a counter at the back and a woman sat at a desk behind the counter. A youngish blond woman came out of an office behind the counter and walked over to us. Carson introduced us to her.

“Linda, this is Mrs. Dempsey and her son David and daughter Lynn.”

“Nice to meet all of you. So, David’s the one you ran into Wednesday evening?”

“Yeah. We’ve become friends, sort of hard-knock friends I’d guess you’d call us.” That made us chuckle.

Linda led us to the counter.

“This is Helen. She checks the boys in and out, takes care of paperwork, answers the phone, and most important keeps Hathaway House running.”

We all said ‘hi’ to Helen, and she checked Carson in. “Will you be going out again, Carson?”

“Yes, I’m here to help Linda with the tour. David will be coming up to my room with me after the tour. I’m going to show him around the dorms then get my laptop and go back to his house. I’m spending the night at the Dempseys and I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Be sure to check out.”

“I will. Thanks, Helen.”

He leaned back against the counter.

“The Dempsey’s gave me an iPod for my birthday. Look.” He pulled it out of his pocket and showed it to Linda and Helen. “I couldn’t believe it when I opened the package. It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” His smile showed how excited he was, and I could feel a glow inside because I was happy for him.

“That’s wonderful, Carson,” Helen told him, “that’s why you want to get your laptop, I’ll bet. You need it to download music, right?”

“Yeah, how do you know?”

“I might be older than you, quite a lot older in fact, but you young whippersnappers have nothing on me. I have an iPod too, and an iPhone, and a Kindle, and a laptop computer. So if sometime you want to find someone to talk geek with, I’m your gal.”

“That’s great, Helen. I didn’t know that you were a computer nerd. I’ll take you up on that next week.”

“That’s geek, Mr. Carson Ryan Evans, not nerd. And don’t you forget it!”

They grinned at each other. I liked that. It meant that this was probably a happy place, a nice place to live if you have to be in a foster facility.

Linda started our tour, and we went from room to room. First, the offices which included Mr. Hagen’s office. She said he was out for the day.

We saw the kitchen, and that was impressive, like restaurant kitchens I’ve seen in movies. She introduced the cooks and said there are two on each shift. They fix breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks for the residents and the staff. Next we saw the dining room which was set up like a restaurant, with five tables for the residents and one for the staff. I thought it was cool that they call the guys living here ‘residents’.

In the living room there were some guys watching a movie on TV. Carson said ‘hi’ to them and they said ‘hi’ to him. We went into a smaller room that was like a library. Linda said it’s a quiet space for reading and doing homework. Carson’s roommate Ralph was there, and we were introduced. We walked past four study rooms and two classrooms. The gym was at the back of the house. It had two ping-pong tables and some exercise equipment, and outside four guys were playing basketball on what looked like a standard size court.

Linda talked to us at the end of the tour. “The boys all seem to enjoy our facilities. The only complaints I get are about having to wash their own clothes and the lack of junk food.” I thought that was pretty funny.

We thanked Linda for the tour, and Mom and Lynn left to go home since they couldn’t go upstairs. Lynn looked very disappointed.

Carson took me upstairs.

“There are ten dorm rooms, two bathrooms and shower rooms, and the clinic with two beds and a nurse’s station up here. We’re full up, twenty guys. I’ve heard that there’s a waiting list. Hathaway House has a rep of being a great place. I’m lucky to be here.”

He pulled out a key and unlocked the door of dorm room number two. “These are like college dorm rooms. Each has two single beds, two study desks and chairs, and two closets. We have more storage under our beds, and the shelves above each desk. This bookcase between the desks is shared, and so’s the TV on top.” It was a smallish flat screen LCD set. Cool having your own TV in your own room, even if you had to share it with a roommate.

“Anyway, this is my bed, and over here is my desk.” He unlocked the top drawer with the same key as the door, and took out his laptop and power adapter.

“This is my netbook. The Adamsens got it for me in August just before school started. BuyMart had a deal on it, $299. It’s real light weight, and has great battery life. On the other hand there’s only one gig of RAM and an Atom processor chip so it’s not very fast. But for word processing and spreadsheets and getting on the internet and the Blackboard system at school it’s okay.”

“Can you add more RAM?”

“Yeah, by swapping out the one gig SIMM for a two gig or a four gig. Sort of a waste. And I’m not sure if that would make any real difference.”

“How big’s the hard drive?”

“160 gigs. That’s plenty for me. If I was doing a lot with pictures and music files that could be a problem. It’s got an SD slot so I can add up to 64 gigs that way, but above 8 gigs that gets pretty expensive. Anyway, it’s okay, gets the job done for me. I saw that you have a desktop PC. Do you have a laptop too?”

“No. I really want one. Some new lightweight laptops just came out, I’ll check those and see if Santa might bring me one.”

“Santa?” Carson burst out in laughter. “I love it! I guess the Great Pumpkin might have brought me my iPod, so there’s no reason that Santa might not bring you your laptop.”

“The Great Pumpkin?” I laughed. “What or who is that?”

“It’s from an old Peanuts comic strip. It’s in one of the Peanuts books in the library here. The story goes that Linus believes that if he sits in a pumpkin patch on Halloween night then the Great Pumpkin will come and bring him gifts. Sort of like Santa on Christmas. You can check it out on Wikipedia.”

“That’s really funny. How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa Claus?”

“I never believed in Santa Claus. I was being bounced from foster facility to foster family to foster facility, and getting presents from Santa never happened. How about you?”

“I guess I was about six when a friend convinced me that presents came from our parents and Santa was a myth. That, and one night I heard a noise and went downstairs and saw them wrapping packages. It didn’t bother me like it does some kids. But that sucks that you didn’t get presents at Christmas.”

“Oh, I got presents. Mostly clothes and a few small toys when I was little. It’s just that I was told who gave them. Usually it was the foster family or someone at the foster facility, sometimes a donated toy that the firemen collect each year. Never from Santa.”

I looked at Carson and blinked to try to keep my tears under control, but that didn’t work and they slid slowly down my cheeks.

“You’re never going to have a Christmas like that from now on, never! I guarantee it.”

Carson took a big breath and let it out slowly. “You can’t guarantee it, David. I don’t know when I’ll be sent to a foster family, and they could be anywhere and not near here.”

“You’re my best friend and I love you, and I CAN guarantee it and I WILL guarantee it. You just wait and see.”

Carson gave me a really strange look, then hugged me with his right arm. He stepped back, keeping his right hand on my shoulder.

“I love you too, David.” He leaned in and kissed me.

There was applause from the doorway. We’d left it open, and Carson’s roommate Ralph was standing there looking at us, grinning.