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To Love in Silence

© 2006 By DesDownUnder

  1. I sit in silence, awaiting his return,
  2. Silent thoughts wandering alone in my mind,
  3. Thoughts of his happiness, and of my sorrow,
  4. Sorrow that began when he told me all his dreams,
  5. Dreams I must ever guard with my silence.
  6.  
  7. It hurts that his dreams are not the same as mine,
  8. Mine, unknown to him, were already realised,
  9. Realised when together we bought this house,
  10. The house we have shared with each other as home,
  11. A home where I could love him in silence.
  12.  
  13. Perhaps it would be best I quietly leave,
  14. Leave while he’s away proposing to his girl,
  15. The girl of his dreams and of my shattered hopes,
  16. Hopes that as they must, now become my despair,
  17. Despair I must conceal with my silence.
  18.  
  19. He will come home to announce his happy news,
  20. News that will rend my heart from my chest,
  21. Still beating and beating till it is still,
  22. While he dances his steps of life and love,
  23. And my love lives and dies in its silence.
  24.  
  25. He once told me friendship can give life to love,
  26. My love is for him but his love is for her,
  27. And she deserves it all, for she adores him,
  28. With devotion that makes me love her as well,
  29. I am cursed to love them both in silence.
  30.  
  31. I must be seen rejoicing in their union,
  32. I shall give them both my blessing and this house,
  33. I’ll sign the deed to him as a wedding gift,
  34. A gift for him to find after I have gone,
  35. To applaud their love and deny my silence
  36.  
  37. I must hurry because he will soon return,
  38. My tears try to sign the deed. I hear his car,
  39. I cannot see where to sign it. He is here,
  40. I’m too late to escape with myself intact,
  41. He walks in. No word, no sound can be heard.
  42.  
  43. We stand facing each other like ancient statues,
  44. Carved from the granite of youth, by the tools of gods,
  45. Gods so envious that they make us both to cry,
  46. But he should not be weeping. What has happened?
  47.  
  48. “She will not have me. She says it’s you I love,
  49. And she is right. I have loved you in silence.”