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A Letter to My Son

By Graeme

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Dear Foster,

Congratulations son, on your promotion! I’ve always considered the cops to be a dour lot, but with you as the new head of the Gay Liaison Unit of the Victoria Police, I’m sure they'll be happy again in no time. You would’ve thought they’d come up with a better sounding name, but what can you expect from bureaucrats?

Now that you have moved up another rung in the police hierarchy, perhaps you could use your increased income to consider moving? I understand that when you moved down to Melbourne, finances were tight and you had to share a one-bedroom apartment with your mate Steve, but after five years maybe it’s time to find a two-bedroom place? I’d never suggest you leave him behind, but I think if each of you has your own bedroom, it will help both of you find girls. It must be putting a real cramp on your social life with the fairer sex, having to share a bed with your best friend, even if it is a king-sized bed.

Your mother asked me the other day if I ever wondered about how much time you spend with Steve, but I told her not to worry. She doesn’t understand the importance of male bonding. I still keep in touch with my mates from my youth and I think the rapport you’ve developed with Steve is great. It reminds me of Ken and Joe, who still share a house after all these years. A pair of confirmed bachelors, they really look after each other. At times my friends and I kid those two that they are like an old married couple. While I don’t expect you two to turn out the same, I can sense the same strong mateship between you and Steve that Ken and Joe share.

As for your concern, I don’t see a problem with you using your new position to feed some work to Steve’s company. It’s only computer maintenance, after all. It would be different if you were doing favours for a girlfriend or a family member, but helping a mate is always okay. That’s what mates are for. Don’t worry about the ethics, it’ll be fine.

I think it’s fantastic that you and Steve have started taking dancing lessons. I used to do Latin American dancing, too, when I was younger, and it’s a lot of fun. Of course, in those days there were usually more girls in the class than boys, and some of the girls had to dance together. With the advances in gender equality in these modern times, I supposed it is only fair that you and Steve have to dance together since there aren’t that many girls in your class. As for those girls who want to dance together, don’t worry. They’re probably just shy. Once they get to know you, I have no doubt you and Steve will be able to charm them into being your dance partners. Until them, if you have dance with another guy, a good mate like Steve is the best option.

Now, I have to say that I’m a little disappointed that you decided not to go to the Hookers and Deviants Ball like I suggested. From what I’ve heard it’s a great night out and a good way to meet some girls. However, you’re still young. I didn’t marry your mother until I was almost thirty so you’ve got plenty of time. You may not have met the right girl for you yet, but I’m sure that one day you’ll wake up and find yourself in love with someone. You may be surprised – it could be the most unexpected person!

Your sister said to say hi and to give Steve a big kiss and hug from her. I don’t expect you to do that literally, of course, but Steve certainly made an impression on her last week while she stayed with you. It was very kind of you to look after her while she was visiting, and take her out with you and your friends. She said that she’d never met so many good-looking guys in her life, and it’s sad that none of them were available. I hadn’t realised that all your friends were spoken for. The way she gushes about Steve, though, he’d better watch out. She says he’s one of the sexiest guys she knows!

It’s sad that my bad back prevents me from making the trip down to Melbourne and your busy work as a policeman stops you from coming back home very often. Just thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve seen you and Steve together since you headed off, five years ago. I can still remember that day well, with the happy smiles and the arms around each other’s shoulders. Your mother joked at the time that you made a cute couple! Don’t worry, I explained to tell her that you were just good mates and jokes like that were inappropriate.

That’s about all for now. Your mother says to pass on her love to you and Steve. At times I think she considers him to be another son.

Love,

Dad

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