Reaching Out

Chapter 20: Nothing Stays the Same

By Grant Bentley

We still saw a lot of Jason and John and the other older boys, but it wasn’t quite the same. They came and visited and we had fun together, but it was more like adults visiting other adults. The freedom, laughter and joking around seemed to be being replaced by discussions of the economy and the environment. That doesn’t mean there weren’t days when they were all in the basement playing pool or foosball again; those days, they reverted back to being just boys again.

Unfortunately, time has a way of moving forward at a much faster pace than you realise. Our lives took on a regular day-to-day routine and before we knew it, another school year had passed. It was graduation time again. This time, we only had two grads: Aaron and Chase. We attended their graduation ceremony, which was much the same as last year’s. This year, however, we ended up with all the boys camped out in the basement, having their own private party. Since Aaron and Chase were dating Theo and Trevor, respectively, they were more involved with the university crowd so the typical high school grad party didn’t appeal to them at all.

The boys pretty much just resumed their same summer jobs. We saw a lot more of them, though, as they had a lot more free time. Ian and I thoroughly enjoyed our extra time with all of them.

At the end of July, we flew to Montreal for two weeks for the Pride weekend and Divers/Cité. Divers/Cité is an LGBT multidisciplinary arts and music festival which takes place each year in the Gay Village of Montreal. Ian had never been and was totally amazed by the entertainment and the crowds. Several thousand gays all in the mood to party is not something you soon forget.

Far too soon, it was fall again. Jerry and Joey were thinking about school starting up and the rest of the boys were gearing up for university. Both Aaron and Chase decided to enter the Faculty of Science in the pre-med program.

My extended family had grown to include one very loving partner, ten university students and eight high school students. I say my extended family because those who didn’t actually live with us spent more time at our home or at Jason and John’s suite than they did in their own homes, so I felt justified claiming them as mine.

In October, we were invited to a wedding. Pete and Ross had decided it was their time to get married. Their wedding was done on a larger scale than Jason, John, Ian and I had done. They both had fairly large extended families, so there were about three hundred guests. I was very pleased to see how accepting everyone was, considering it was two guys getting married and forty of the guests were gay. Everyone mingled, talked, laughed and danced with everyone else. It made me think that maybe we had made some progress after all.

We also celebrated Jerry and Joey’s birthdays, their first with us. Again, we lucked out, in that their birthdays were less than a month apart, so we were able to have a combined party once more. We invited all of their close friends and more than half of the GSA. We were able to book the community hall down the street and our favourite DJ.

Trevor and Chase invited them to go out for dinner and to a movie, which was nothing unusual. Since it was a warm day, Trevor suggested that they should walk to the restaurant–four blocks away–eat and then walk back home to the car and drive downtown for the movie. Of course, they would have to walk past the community hall on their way there. When they got to the community hall, it was obvious there was something going on, just from the number of cars parked outside.

Trevor suggested they peek in to see what was going on. Jerry wasn’t so sure they should do that, but the others talked him into it. When they opened the door and stepped inside, they were greeted by shouts and cheers of “Happy Birthday”.

Joey’s first reaction was to smack Trevor on the arm and say, “You could have warned us,” before he broke out into the biggest smile ever. Jerry just stood there, his eyes filling with tears, but with a huge smile as well. The boys were immediately swamped by the other kids and led into the hall. Once everyone had settled down, they were seated at the head table and the food was served.

As soon as everyone had finished eating, the DJ started the music and within seconds, the dance floor was full. For the next two hours, everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives. For many, it was the first time they had been able to dance with their boyfriend or girlfriend in public. After a couple of hours, the DJ announced it was time to open gifts. It took them the better part of an hour to open all the gifts and, of course, give the appropriate hug and kiss to the giver. The DJ started the music again and the party went on for another hour before it was time to pack things up for the night.

The boys helped clean up the hall and helped Jerry and Joey carry all of their gifts home and put them away. Once that was done, we gathered in the living room to relax for a bit before going to bed.

“You know, that was my first birthday party,” Joey announced. “Most birthdays, I never even got a cake, just a gift–and it was always something practical, like a pen set or new shoes. You guys have no idea how great it was to have someone care enough to do something like you did tonight. Thank you.”

“Same here,” Jerry quickly added. “It was a first for me, too, and I can’t even begin to explain what it meant to me. I can’t say thanks enough. I love you guys so much.”

“You are so welcome,” I told them, “and it may have been the first, but it won’t be the last.”

It was nearly midnight and the boys announced that they should probably be getting home. Jerry and Joey got up and gave everyone else a big hug before they left. Soon, it was just Ian, Trevor, Chase and me sitting with the birthday boys. We were all fairly tired and I suggested that we should probably all crash for the night. We again got thanks and hugs. It had been a long day and Ian and I were asleep in minutes.

There were not very many more ‘firsts’ after Joey and Jerry’s big birthday bash, although there were a couple of significant changes. For the most part, life seemed to settle down to a nice and normal daily routine. Ian went to work, the boys went to school or university and I worked on my new novel. I knew Ian would be coming home to me every evening, as would the boys.

We did have one more wedding during the year. It was a small affair; just immediate family–and all of us, of course–as Scott and Evan got married over the Christmas break. It was their Christmas gift to each other. How sweet is that?

Joey and Jerry settled in comfortably and were a joy to have around. They were always there, ready to help, and worked hard at school. If anything, they made our lives easier rather than harder. It didn’t seem at all like raising two boys; it was more like having young roommates. Even though their parents hadn’t been particularly loving, they had instilled a strong work ethic and sense of loyalty in the boys. I don’t think we ever had to ask them to do something. If they saw it needed doing, they did it. Fortunately, their fondness for hugs never went away, either.

We also had two big graduations. The first was when Jason, John, Scott, Evan, Trevor and Theo got their degrees from the University of Calgary. The convocation ceremony was a fairly grand affair. Jason began teaching at Western the next fall, which made Scott Thiessen very happy; John began a job with Alberta Mental Health as a youth counsellor; Scott and Evan were both offered great jobs as web designers with a fairly large company in Edmonton; Trevor started working as a social worker with Social Services; and Theo decided to continue his medical training and was accepted into Medical School to train as a paediatrician.

The second graduation was that of Jerry and Joey, from high school. Both of them decided to go to university. It was a toss up between social work and teaching. In the end, they both decided to go into teaching. So, in another couple of years, we knew we would have two more teachers in our little extended family.

After graduating from university, Jason and John continued to live in their suite above the garage for another three years. It was then that they decided to adopt twin nine year old boys who had lost their parents in a car accident. They had become friends with the boys’ parents in university and knew the boys quite well. After the accident, and after learning that the boys had no relatives who could take them in, they decided that, if it was possible, they would take the boys in.

When they told us what they had planned, my reaction was mixed. First, I wasn’t sure they were ready for something like that. Second, I wasn’t sure they would be able to adopt at all, as they were both only twenty five and gay. However, they had been married for seven years, their relationship was stable and they had always shown remarkable maturity. With excellent references from a very highly-respected high school principal who happened to be Jason’s boss, Scott Thiessen, as well as the police chief and a well-respected social worker named Trevor Paulson, the adoption went through with no hassles.

Ian and I were officially grandparents. Although totally straight as far as they knew, the boys, Kolbe and Kane, had no trouble adjusting to having two dads and two granddads. They thought it was great. In fact, they thought it was just ‘too cool’, since none of their friends could say the same. They also found the rest of the group to be the ‘coolest bunch of guys ever’, as they put it.

Even though they had the run of the whole house, with two active boys, the suite wasn’t quite big enough any more. Jason and John decided to move into my condo. However, Ian and I talked it over and decided that with two active, growing boys, they needed the house and yard more than we did. It was decided that Ian and I would move into the condo with Joey and Jerry instead. Trevor and Chase would be able to move into the suite if they were in the main part of the house.

They argued that it didn’t seem fair for us to move out–it was our house, after all. But we explained that we didn’t need much room, and it was, after all, a three-bedroom condo. It wasn’t exactly small. Joey and Jerry explained that they were in university and studying a lot of the time anyway, so they didn’t need a lot of room either. They said they would probably hang around at the house a lot anyway, since that’s where everyone else would be a lot of the time, and they had become very fond of the twins as well. Eventually, Jason and John saw the logic in our reasoning. Ian and I moved into the condo with Joey and Jerry, and Trevor and Chase moved into the suite.

I knew we were really going to miss them. Hell, I was even getting used to two nine year olds racing through my living room on their way to the basement shouting, “Hey Grandpa!” on their way through. But the four of them were a family and it was time for them to have their own home. Ian and I would miss them, but I had a pretty good idea that we would be visiting a lot.

Other things were changing, too, as they do with all families and friends. We all have to grow up and, very often, move on. After Scott and Evan moved to Edmonton, we seldom saw them any more. Chase, Theo and Aaron were all interning at local hospitals. They had two more years left to become official doctors of medicine. Pete and Ross were in the last year of their degrees. Pete had already been promised a position with the Calgary Flames and Ross would be working for one of Calgary’s larger law firms after graduating.

One morning, I was sitting at the table alone, contemplating all the changes over the last few years. It wasn’t that long ago, relatively speaking, that I was totally alone. But now that seemed like a vague, distant memory. My life was full of people, and even more importantly, full of love. I had Jason and John and two rambunctious nine year olds who loved me. I had Trevor, Chase, Jerry, Joey, Pete, Ross, Scott, Evan, Aaron, Theo and all of their friends who loved me. Most significantly, I had Ian who loved me.

Knowing I was loved was so comforting. But even more comforting was the fact that I loved. I loved all the boys and their friends and their boyfriends. I loved the twins. And by far the most heartening change was that I was in love. I was in love with Ian, the most beautiful, warm, caring man I could imagine. He made me feel truly alive, and so very happy.

Then I thought back to how it all started. I thought about how something as simple as reaching out to help one boy in need had changed my life. Not just my life, but directly or indirectly, that one act had changed so many lives.

The End