Krystal Chapter 05 – Fun and Games By Harrod200 Copyright © 2006 by Harrod200 of Orbital One. All rights reserved.				Email Codey’s World
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“The Almanac of Psychiatric Disorders, not exactly light reading.” Dr. Sierra commented as she sat next to me on the sofa. “How’ve you been the last couple of days Krystal?”

“Ok…” I replied

“Would you like to go somewhere more private to talk?” I nodded in response. I could feel I was going to break down and didn’t want to do it here. “Ok, why don’t we go to your room? Can you show me where it is?” I nodded again. Something about this woman just brought all my feelings out; I could feel all my emotions rising to the surface. I led her to my bedroom and closed the door behind her. I sat on the bed and she at the desk.

“There are two other beds here, have you met your roommates yet?” She asked.

“Yeah…” I managed to push out. We hadn’t gone near anything to do with the last few days or my past yet I was already tearing up.

“What are they like?”

I took a few deep breaths to try to compose myself, after a moment I felt confident enough to try to speak. “They’re cool, they’re twins. They’ve shown me about and helped me meet the others.”

“They sound quite nice. What about the other people you’ve met? What are they like?”

“There were three of the older boys that came up to me yesterday.” Just thinking about them I felt a lot of emotions I couldn’t explain-anger, fear and hatred. Hatred? They gave me no reason to hate them, sure I wouldn’t want to be their friends but I don’t know why I would hate them after just a few moments. Sensing my confusion Dr Sierra stepped in;

“What do you feel when you think about them?”

“I don’t know, angry because they wanted me to be bad like them, scared because they were bigger and harder and…” I trailed off with a disturbed look.

“And what, Krystal?” She asked in an incredibly caring and sympathetic voice.

“I…feel like I hate them. I don’t know why, I don’t want to hate people, I don’t want to be angry, I don’t want to be like him!” The floodgates opened and tears ran down my face. I don’t want to turn into the violent thug that everyone knew, that’s not me and I don’t want it to be.

“It’s ok Krystal.” She sat next to me and hugged me into her, “Everyone has those feelings, it doesn’t make you a bad person.” The tears kept falling as I soaked my way through her blouse. I couldn’t stop them now if I tried, I was venting all the emotions that had been kept bottled up even without me realising it.

“What am I going to do? I don’t know anything about myself, everyone thinks I’m a violent druggie, everyone seems scared of me but I don’t know why. I’ve got scars covering me I can’t remember getting. My eyes are weird, I’m a freak. I’m going to have to start school from the beginning; everyone will say I’m stupid. Why did all this all have to happen to me?” I was shaking as I hugged tightly to her, soaking her more with every sob that wracked my body. For about twenty minutes I sat there attached to her side with her arm around my neck like a mother comforting her child until I finally cried myself out and pulled away slightly.

“Do you feel a bit better now?” She asked, handing me a tissue from her pocket. I nodded my response as I dried my eyes and blew my nose. “Everything you’re feeling is perfectly normal for someone in your position. Don’t worry about turning into your alter-ego; you are a totally different person to him. Everyone gets angry or scared sometimes, they’re natural responses to how people treat you so do not worry about it.” Her voice was still soft but it had a determination to it, she wouldn’t take any argument about that. “The scars are part of you, they may have been caused in one way or another by your alter-ego but they are still part of you and they add to your uniqueness. The same thing with your eyes, they’re unusual but that’s what makes them yours. Nobody else has eyes like yours and you should treasure that fact and not mourn it. As for school, we know you’re a very bright young man. Over the next few months you’ll be visited each day by a tutor who will get you working at the right level. You won’t have to go to school until at least the beginning of the next school year and only then if I feel you’re ready.”

My body was still occasionally jerking with dry sobs but I felt a lot calmer. “Why do you care?” I somehow asked her without the thought crossing my mind.

“What do you mean?”

“Why do you care?” My voice asked again, louder and without any input from myself. “What do you care about some fucked up little kid eh? This little druggie who just waltzed into your office one day and used you to get him off his charges. This is ME! You know I’ll never change; I’ll just sit back and let everyone get comfortable then BAM! I’m back and better than ever. You think your psycho babble means anything? I know the only way I’m gonna get anywhere is with these,” I was looking through my eyes and speaking with my voice but I couldn’t control anything. My fists were clenched and I could feel my body preparing to fight but I just couldn’t do anything about it. I tried as hard as I could, every bit of my concentration went into trying to regain control, but the blackness closed in.

***

As I lay on the bed with my eyes closed I ran the events over and over in my mind, what happened? I could see, hear and feel everything that was going on but I couldn’t stop it. Why couldn’t I stop it? This is my body! I should be in control! I should have been able to stop.

The door opened a crack and Dr. Sierra looked in on me. Moving over to me she sat on the bed and handed me a tissue. Somewhere while I was thinking about earlier I’d started to cry.

“I couldn’t stop it…” I uttered as I dried my eyes. “I could see and hear everything but I just couldn’t do anything.” Tears appeared again at my eyes and I collapsed into the doctor, sobbing deeply.

“Shh shh, there’s nothing you could have done. You can’t control when he comes out, in time you might be able to but not now, and I don’t hold you responsible for anything. Nobody will.” I kept bawling into her side as she kept comforting me until I cried myself out. “You know, you’ll be keeping Kleenex in business all by yourself at this rate.” She said with a smile as she handed me a clean tissue with a smile, earning a small chuckle from me. “Are you feeling better now?”

“Yea, thanks.” I replied in a shaky voice.

Reaching over to the drawers by my bed she picked up the book I had picked out from the library and flicked through a couple of pages.

“Do you think you could be interested in psychiatry?” she asked as she handed it to me.

I sniffed one last time before I replied; “I don’t know, I was just looking for something that would help me understand everything that’s going on with me.”

“What about anything else, have you found anything you might be interested in here yet?”

“Maybe, there is an old set of weights in the garage that I, I dunno, felt an attraction towards. Apart from that I don’t think there’s anything else that looks that great.”

“Weights hmm?” she mused, “Exercise can be very good for clearing and relaxing the mind. Tell you what, how about we go down there now, maybe it’ll help you relax a little.”

Oddly, with everything that had happened and the mood that I was in, that bench seemed to be calling me. It was as if it wanted me to go to it. I nodded my approval to the doctor and followed her out of the room.

“Could you get the key to the garage please, Margaret?” she asked Maggie as we descended the stairs. After a few moments in the office Maggie emerged with the key.

“Going to try out the old bench?” she asked Dr. Sierra when she unlocked the door.

“Yes it might help clear his mind a little, and I can tell he wants to give it a whirl anyway.” She finished with a small glance and smile at me.

They both walked over to the set and checked what the condition of what was there.

“It’s not been used in years as far as I know.” Maggie commented when they had cleared the clutter that had inevitably found it’s way onto the unused surface, “Ugh, it’s filthy, wait a moment and I’ll just get something to clean it off with.” After a minute or so she returned with a bucket of water, cloth and some wire wool.

“How about you work on rubbing the rust and dirt off of the metal sections while we clean the seat?” Dr. Sierra suggested and immediately took a cloth. Having no choice I picked up some of the wire wool and started rubbing away at the frame. After just a few minutes the bench was gleaming.

“As good as new.” She commented and patted the seat for me to try it out.

Laying on the padded surface a tingling wave came over me and I suddenly felt very comfortable, I reached out for the bar and as soon as I had my fingers clasped around it everything changed.

***

“Come on Kris! Just five more!” an unfamiliar voice shouted. My arms were nearly exploding from the effort I had been putting into the workout. Just 5 more, that’s not too hard. ‘Ninety six’ I heard myself utter as I completed another rep. The pain in my arms was immense but I had to keep going, my pride was resting on it. ‘Ninety seven’ three more, nearly there, ‘Ninety eight’ oh yes, the arms were going to explode very soon. ‘Ninety nine’ nearly there. ‘One hundred!’ I almost threw the bar onto its stand and leapt up in victory as the sound of cheering rang around me.

***

“Krystal?” Dr. Sierra’s slightly apprehensive voice replaced the fading cheers in my ears. “Are you ok?”

“Y…yeah, I, I think I just remembered something. I was lying on a bench just like this one, counting up to a hundred. It felt so good when I reached it, it was like I’d proven myself or something and it felt great.” I said with a smile.

“Great, looks like we’ve found something you’ll enjoy doing then. Maybe you can find someone else here who enjoys lifting and you can watch over each other.” I nodded enthusiastically. The thought of being able to lift more was very appealing. I really didn’t care about gaining muscle, although that was certainly an advantage; it seemed that the process was what I was most interested in.

“I know Adam has done some lifting in his time, I’m not sure about any of the kids though.” Maggie added, “You might try asking Tyler, I think he did a little at the last home he was at.”

“Thanks, can I do a bit now?”

“Of course.” Maggie replied before looking at her watch, “It’s nearly 3 o’clock, doctor do you mind staying with Krystal while I get ready for the boys to get back from school?”

Maggie left the room as I tested the bar’s weight, I knew there wasn’t much attached to it but I wasn’t sure how much I could lift. There was a little weight when I first lifted but it wasn’t too heavy, just about enough. I completed a few reps and felt my mind relaxing. After about 5 minutes my arms started getting tired and I set the bar back onto its stand.

“Think you’ve found something you like?” Dr. Sierra asked when I sat up.

“Yeah, it was relaxing. Do you think I’ll be able to do it again?”

“I don’t see why not, but like Margaret said you’ll need someone with you when you do work out in case you need help. Maybe one of the others will be able to help you.”

I nodded my reply as the sound of kids came flooding from the common room and a blonde streak shot past us and straight out of the door to the garden after grabbing a water gun from one of the shelves.

“I’ll be going now Krystal,” Dr. Sierra said when we stepped into the common room, “I’ll be back again next week to see you but if you want to talk just ask Margaret or Adam and they’ll arrange for you to come and see me, is that ok?”

“Yes, thank you.” I replied and surprised her by giving her a hug. After a moment I released her and after a smile she walked to the office.

I decided I’d better have a shower, I felt uncomfortably hot and sweaty after the short workout. While I was gathering my things the room’s door burst open and Spike ran in, slamming and leaning against it behind him.

“Hide me!” he begged, barely containing fits of laughter.

“Spike! I’m gonna ram that gun so far down your throat…!” I heard Ty’s voice outside shouting.

“Help!” Spike giggled. Holding up the valance of my bed I simply pointed under. In a flash he had vanished. Right then the door burst open and a soaked Ty stood in it’s space.

“Where is he?” he asked in a less than amused tone. Again, I simply pointed to the bed. After a moment Ty was half under the bed and dragging the young blonde boy out by his feet.

“Traitor!” Spike managed to get out in between his fits of giggles and struggling as he was pulled into the open.

“So you like to make people wet huh?” Ty asked rhetorically as he flipped spike onto his back and sat on his legs. “Let’s see how long it takes you to get wet!” he laughed and started tickling the helpless boy who laughed and writhed helplessly underneath him.

I decided that Spike wasn’t in any danger and returned to getting my things. After leaving the two sprawled on the floor in fits of laughter I walked over to the bathroom. When I got there someone had beaten me to it and the mutilated sound of Superstition once again bled through the door. Rather than have another ‘run in’ with Davey after his shower I decided it would be better to use one of the others.

The back bathroom was a little smaller than the one on my room’s side but was otherwise identically furnished with the same style sink, bath/shower unit and toilet.

I set the shower to a pretty cool temperature and stepped in. the feeling of the water pulling the excess heat from every cell in my body was invigorating. I closed my eyes and simply enjoyed the feeling of the water coursing over my body for what must have been around 5 minutes before I felt a chill from the water and got out.

After I’d dried myself off and put on a clean shirt and pair of denim shorts opened up the bathroom door. In the common area there were a group of kids playing some sort of game together, I could still hear laughter coming from inside my bedroom and outside I could hear more of the residents playing something else. It looked like life wasn’t going to be too bad here. I’d got some friends in the twins, the staff seemed fair enough and were willing to join in the fun a bit and I had already found one thing I enjoyed. ‘Yeah,’ I thought, ‘I think I can do this.’

When I opened the bedroom door Spike and Ty were both still inside, now wheezing for breath and giggling uncontrollably. I noticed there was a new dark blob around the crotch of Spike’s usually light blue jeans.

“It’s his fault!” he managed to say, pointing at Ty, who just lapsed into a fit of laughter.

“Now you know what happens when you play with the big boys.” Ty grinned back when he had composed himself enough.

After a few seconds Spike jumped up and leapfrogged Ty, intentionally jumping a bit low, dragging the damp material through Ty’s blue hair then running out of the door laughing.

“Aww! Gross!” Ty yelled as he leapt up and chased the retreating blonde streak, “Now you’re gonna REALLY get it!” I heard him shouting as he ran down the stairs.

‘Yeah, it doesn’t seem so bad here.’ I confirmed to myself and stepped out of the room in time to see Ty running into the garage.

“Hey Kris!” I heard two indistinguishable voices shout simultaneously, “You wanna come play football for a while?” Both the twins were stood next to each other, dressed identically, both with the exact same expression and grin on their faces.

“Sure.” I replied, and followed them out into the garden.