Did I really write this? This is a hospital poem — one that shows me how I've changed. It seems to have been written on another of my introspective days.
- He was a complex character
- And I never really knew him.
- I could never see exactly what he was,
- And he could never tell me.
- He never seemed to be doing much with his life.
- He was usually happy, especially when he was with friends,
- But at times (decreasing in frequency as he became older)
- At the drop of a hat
- A screen would come down
- And he would be in the blackest of moods.
- Often he gave his parents hell.
- I'm sure they must have sometimes thought of giving up
- Trying to understand him.
- It was a strange relationship,
- But they loved him, and he certainly loved them.
- An outsider looking in might have seen
- A kind of love-hate relationship,
- And it's hard to say whether this impression was right or wrong.
- He was a man of many parts, and many contrasts.
- He had a wide range of interests,
- But often hated and despised the interests of his contemporaries.
- He loved travelling, but disliked living away from home.
- He loved driving, but could never relax in a car.
- He loved some forms of music, but couldn't tolerate others.
- He appreciated good films and plays, and believed in censorship.
- On the other hand he disliked most sports,
- And football and fighting in particular.
- He was very individualistic and independent in some things,
- But often felt that he needed someone to lean on.
- He had a wide circle of friends,
- But only a few very close ones.
- These close friendships were made forever,
- And lasted through thick and thin, good and bad.
- They were happy friendships,
- And beneficial to both sides.
- Most of his friends and relations respected him;
- Some thought him rather boorish and childish at times,
- While some of his contemporaries thought him rather square and old-fashioned.
- On the whole, however, he was well liked and respected.
- He often liked to know what others thought of what he did and said,
- And what they did say pleased him if it was favourable,
- But didn't affect him if it was unfavourable.
- He disliked criticism,
- But was willing to listen to it.
- When he asked advice, he listened,
- But seldom followed it.
- He preferred to make up his own mind —
- Even when his decision quite often proved to be wrong.
- He professed to be a Christian,
- But, although he never seriously questioned his faith,
- He did sometimes wonder.
- Sometimes he thought it might be easier to forsake God and the church
- And live as he liked,
- But his conscience always brought him back.
- Although a complex personality,
- Forever trying to understand himself,
- He preferred the simple things in life.
- He disliked what he thought was pretentiousness.
- He wouldn't be seen dead in a dinner suit,
- And he turned his back on large chrome-covered cars
- And fancy hotels and restaurants.
- He wore casual clothes,
- Drove a functional, if cheap, car,
- And if he ever ate out, it was in some small cafe.
- Although he often wondered what he was doing in life,
- He never considered himself a failure,
- And usually managed to remain happy and optimistic —
- Both in his own life, and the state of the world in general.
- He had a fine sense of humour
- And a great sense of fun and the ridiculous.
- He could usually see the funny side of a situation,
- And often had a good laugh at himself.
- He didn't believe in luck,
- And although things often seemed to go wrong for him,
- Or go against his plans,
- He took things as they came;
- Never considered himself cheated If something didn't turn out quite right,
- And never lingered long over his mistakes.
- He tried to make the best of whatever situation presented itself.
- In many ways his philosophy was admirable,
- Although he sometimes questioned it
- (Indeed, sometimes wondered whether he had a philosophy)
- And it probably would have appalled many people.
- He generally kept out of controversial discussions,
- Usually keeping his thoughts private.
- He disliked arguments,
- And if he and a friend disagreed violently about something,
- He tried to turn the conversation before an argument ensued.
- He didn't consider himself a snob,
- Although others may have thought him so at times.
- On the odd occasions that his name appeared in a newspaper
- He was delighted,
- But generally disliked publicity —
- Preferring to remain settled and secure in his anonymity.
- He was conscientious
- And in some respects, something of a perfectionist.
- He could have been said to be lazy,
- Although he would have tended to disagree.
- He would agree that he was often guilty of procrastination,
- And many times tried to become organised
- In order to overcome this problem.
- He worried constantly,
- And tried hard to overcome this particular problem, too.
- Generally speaking, however, he was a normal, well-adjusted person,
- With few personal problems or worries.
- Some people thought he was mad, or strange.
- Others thought of him as a sensible, mature, thinking adult.
- In some respects, though,
- It could be said that he was unusual.
- Maybe he was,
- Maybe he wasn't.
- He was a complex character
- And no one ever really knew him…
- Not even himself.
29 September 1970
Copyright © 1970, 1999-2008 by Alien Son. All rights reserved.