Reaching Out

Chapter 16: Busy Times—Birthdays, Moving and Graduation

By Grant Bentley

Life settled down into a nice routine over the next few weeks. That’s something we were all thankful for, as I don’t think any of us could have taken any more drama; we had all experienced more than enough drama.

We took Trevor shopping for a laptop, as he had only been given his clothes after social services visited his mother. In fact, she had his suitcases packed and sitting by the door when they arrived. She wouldn’t give them anything else as she claimed that, since she paid for the things, they were hers. I gave Trevor some money so he and Chase could go shopping for CDs, DVDs and a few essentials.

The GSA was an amazing success. They published brochures and had information seminars for students and parents. They put on several fun activities which were open to all students in the school, whether they were members or not. The members were all given training in crisis intervention and the help line continued. Thankfully, most of the calls were simply kids with questions about their sexuality or coming out. A few were questions along the lines of, “How can you tell if someone is gay, cause I think (someone) is soooooo cute,” which the kids manning the phones found quite amusing.

Scott Thiessen gave them an empty classroom next to the cafeteria as a recreation room and gathering place. Ian used some of the donated money to buy a pool table and a few games for the room. Other parents pitched in as well. By the time it was done, they had the equivalent of a mini-arcade at one end, with a couple of sofas and matching chairs. At the other end were some tables and chairs for eating lunch or doing homework. With the cafeteria next door, they even had their own ‘food court’. All students were welcome and there was always someone there to give out memberships if someone wanted one.

Regarding the boys’ birthdays, one of the things we discovered was that Jason desperately wanted to learn how to snowboard and to go snowboarding in the mountains. John and Trevor had done some snowboarding in the past, but they hadn’t gone out this winter. I bought Jason and Trevor snowboards and Ian replaced John’s board. They went with several others to Canada Olympic Park a few times and Jason fell in love with the sport. Ian and I decided that a snowboarding trip to the Banff would be the perfect birthday gift for the boys.

Jason’s birthday fell on a Tuesday, John’s was the following Monday and Trevor’s was two weeks later. We decided to have a combined birthday party for the three of them. I contacted Sunshine Village in Banff and booked eight rooms in one of the hotels from Friday night through to Sunday evening of the weekend before Jason’s birthday. I also booked their banquet room and made arrangements with the hotel to have the party catered on the Friday night. Pete, Ross, Scott and Evan helped us as we had no idea who to invite to the party, other than the boys we knew. They would know who their closer friends were from school, and maybe even some from outside of school. The only restriction they had was that it couldn’t be more that thirty people. By the time they were done, we had a list of twenty-eight guests: eighteen boys and ten girls.

The weekend before Jason’s birthday, we told him we were taking John and him snowboarding at Sunshine for his birthday. They asked Trevor to come with us, but he explained he had plans with Chase and couldn’t make it. He gave Jason a hug and a kiss on the cheek and promised he would make it to John’s birthday celebration. Trevor knew about Jason and John’s surprise and knew that he was to arrive at the hotel at exactly 7:00 pm. However, he had no idea that the party was going to include him. Pete did, and he was driving Ross, Trevor and Chase up to Sunshine. Everyone else was to be there and in the banquet room by 6:30.

Ian and I, along with Jason and John, arrived at the hotel at five to seven and waited near the entrance for a few minutes. When I saw Pete across the parking lot, I suggested that we all go into the restaurant. I managed to stall for a couple of minutes in front of the banquet room. The other boys came into the lobby and walked over to us. Ian kept Jason and John’s attention until the eight of us were standing in a group. I stepped forward and opened the doors. The lights came on and twenty-eight people yelled, “Surprise!” Across the back of the room were the words “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON” in red, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN” in purple, and “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TREVOR” in blue.

All three just stood there with their mouths open for at least twenty seconds before Jason threw his arms around me and gave me a big hug.

“Thank you,” was all he could say as his eyes filled with tears.

It wasn’t ten seconds later before I had Trevor’s arms around me, too.

“Thank you. I can’t believe you did this,” he said as his eyes also filled with tears.

Ian immediately had John in his arms.

“You’re the greatest. Thanks, Dad,” he said, grinning. “This is so cool.”

Somehow, they shifted so they got Ian and me in a group hug. Everyone else was on their feet and wanted in on the action. Once we got all the hugs out of the way and got everyone settled down, we led the boys to the head table and we sat down. At that point, the caterers took over. It was a feast good enough for royalty. I couldn’t remember ever eating such amazing food. Everything was perfect. As everyone was finishing up their food, three cakes were brought out on small carts. One stopped in front of each of the boys. They had to stand in front of their cakes while everyone sang ‘Happy Birthday,’ before they cut their cakes and handed out a piece to each guest.

Then we got a surprise. Everyone started to move the tables to the sides of the room, a set of curtains opened and there, set up and ready to go, was a DJ. Within minutes, the music was going and everyone was on the floor, dancing. Apparently, all the kids had pitched in and hired a DJ for the evening. We danced until nearly midnight, at which time the DJ announced that it was gift opening time. The boys sat at a table and everyone began to set gifts in front of them. An hour later, the boys had enough games, sweaters, books, videos and everything else to fill a couple of shopping bags each. The DJ played a couple more songs, ending with Jason and John’s favourite song, “Stand By Me,” sung by Julian Lennon and Roland Orzabal of Tears for Fears, then the party was over. We had another five minutes of hugs before we all retired to our rooms for the night.

The next morning, we all met for breakfast at about 10:00, then everyone hit the slopes for a day of skiing and snowboarding. For the rest of the weekend, we were all so busy that we only saw everyone together at breakfast. By late Sunday afternoon, everyone was exhausted. I thought it would be a good idea for us to all travel back to the city together. I wanted to be sure everyone got home safely. We all gathered in the front lobby of the hotel before leaving. Everyone said it had been the best weekend on the slopes they had ever spent. I had to agree with them; I couldn’t remember ever having a better time skiing, either. They all gave Ian and I a hug and thanked us. We set off together and didn’t separate from our little convoy until we entered the city and the kids headed off to their respective homes.

Chase rode with us, since he was spending the night with Trevor and would be going to school with the boys in the morning. As soon as we got in the door, Ian and I made a pot of coffee while the boys went to their rooms to put away their gifts. Within about half an hour, we were in the living room, relaxing. We were too tired to even talk. I was cuddled up with Ian, Trevor with Chase and Jason with John. When I noticed John falling asleep, I suggested they go to bed. After a quick hug from each of them, they were gone. Ian and I weren’t far behind.

Ian and I grew to love each other more each day. He was everything I had ever dreamed of in a partner. In fact, we had discussed getting married in the summer. He loved going out dancing at the club as much as I did, so every Friday night we were out at The Twisted Element, dancing the night away.

We kept tabs on the building of the new house. It was moving along fairly quickly, considering the time of year. Except for that one major blizzard, the weather had been unusually warm and snow-free compared to most winters, so they had very few delays. We had decided to put considerably more money into the house than the insurance alone covered, and we chose a plan much larger than the original house. Almost before we knew it, it was April, the weather had really warmed up and the house was nearing completion. It was a two story colonial design, with a kitchen, living room, dining room, den and full bathroom on the main floor. Upstairs were three bedrooms, each with its own ensuite bathroom, as well as a very large in-laws suite above the double garage. The basement was also developed, with a full bathroom, laundry room, furnace room, two bedrooms and a huge family room.

We decided we would rent out the condo. It would be a nice extra source of income, especially as we had three boys to help put through college or university. We listed the condo and began packing up things that we didn’t use on a daily basis. At first, the boys were hesitant about moving. For Jason and Trevor, the condo represented the first place they had felt truly happy in. For John, it was his first home with Jason. Once they got a good look at the finished house, however, they became excited about moving. It was, of course, much bigger overall, the rooms were bigger and the basement family room really excited them.

Ian’s insurance covered replacing all of the furniture, right down to the end tables and shelving. The six of us had a great time furniture shopping. I say six because Chase was with us most of the time. The boys were very excited about choosing their own bedroom furnishings. The day before spring break, a small moving van pulled up in front of the condo. There wasn’t a lot to move; we had mostly personal items as we were renting the condo furnished. That afternoon, after school, the boys would be coming home to the new house. The condo was now history.

That afternoon, Ian and I, of course, expected the usual eight to ten boys to come bounding into the house. Instead, there were closer to twenty excited kids trying to take their shoes off at the door at the same time. The boys showed them through the house, starting upstairs with the bedrooms and suite above the garage. They then moved down through the main floor and ended up in the basement. The basement now had a pool table, foosball game, weight set, big screen TV, Xbox, surround sound stereo system and tons of DVDs and CDs, most of them unopened. They were all challenging each other at pool or foosball or just sitting back listening to music and relaxing. By 5:30, most of them had left as it was getting close to dinnertime. Our usual group stayed behind. Pete came up and asked if it would be okay to order out. Since I had been unpacking most of the day, I had no objections to food that I didn’t have to cook.

It seemed like we had barely finished unpacking and settling in when several trucks and a landscaping crew were parked in front of the house. Aaron’s parents were true to their word and within three days we had the most beautifully landscaped yard in the neighbourhood. It was a minimal maintenance yard in front, with trees, shrubs, flowerbeds, red shale pathways and no lawn to mow. The back had a huge deck that covered almost half of the yard, two of what would become large shade trees and grass covering the remaining area. We couldn’t thank them enough for the amazing job they had done. Ian offered to pay for some of it, but they flatly refused. They said that, considering what we had probably spent on food for Aaron, including two other snowboarding trips after the big birthday bash, we were even dollar for dollar.

We had just got settled in when the boys informed us that graduation would soon be upon us. I felt both happy and sad at that prospect. Our home had become home to Jason, John and Trevor as well as ‘home’ for eight to ten of their friends. It was a home full of love, where everyone was free to be himself. It was a home where love and laughter reigned supreme. After years of living alone, I had quickly become accustomed to a house full of boys. I had come to expect the bantering and laughter as they played their video games, pool or foosball. In the five months it had been like that, I had come to expect that it would never end. Now, I was afraid it would end all too soon. ‘My boys’ were already grown up and I had only had them for such a little while.

Thankfully, though, it didn’t end, but it would change. The boys all decided to attend the University of Calgary. John chose to go into psychology, Jason into education, Trevor into social work, Pete into sports medicine, Ross into pre-law, Scott and Evan into graphic arts and Theo into nursing. Aaron and Chase still had one more year left of high school. That meant I would have them around for several more years. I was happy once again.

Graduation was a gala two-day affair, with a graduating class of 170. On the Friday evening, it was the graduation ceremony. It involved the introduction of the grads and the walk across the stage in cap and gown, picture taking and a small lunch in the gymnasium. Scott Thiessen introduced the grads and gave a short speech about how much this group had accomplished. He, of course, listed their academic accomplishments, their athletic championships and achievements, but he also made a point of mentioning the GSA and how much it had done to increase acceptance and tolerance. He also mentioned the help line and how it had helped innumerable students over the past semester.

The highlight of the evening, however, was Pete’s valedictory address. He spoke of the usual things every valedictorian must touch on: thanks to the school, the parents and the teachers, the future is ahead, what we do with our lives from this point on is up to us, our future will be what we make it and so on.

He then spoke about acceptance, understanding and hate. How many choose one thing to hate and not another or one part of the Bible to believe and not another. How we must take the time to seek the truth instead of blindly following the lead of so-called authorities because it is easier than finding out for ourselves. How we need to be careful of what we say around children because they form many of their beliefs from listening to parents and significant adults around them. How many may be hurt by negative remarks they feel are directed towards them and end up living in fear. In some cases, to the point of seeing suicide as the only way out. He finished up by stating that, if our society is to continue, we must learn to love and accept one another as Christ taught us. A society based on intolerance and hate will not survive. It will eventually self-destruct. One based on love and mutual acceptance will flourish.

As he stepped back, he got a standing ovation. For the next several minutes, it was deafening as several hundred people stood whistling, shouting, cheering and clapping. When he came down from the stage, friends, parents, teachers and classmates mobbed him. It took at least fifteen minutes for him to make his way over to our little group to get his hug and kiss from Ross.

Saturday was the banquet and dance. It was a huge and extravagant affair. The meal was amazing with everything from turkey to sushi. When the dance started, we noticed that it was our DJ from the birthday party. To start the dance, he dedicated the first song to Pete and the boys and girls of the GSA. It was Jason & deMarco’s remix of “It’s Okay”. Once again, the crowd burst into cheers and applause and the dance floor was instantly full.

It was a phenomenal night, if for no other reason than same-sex couples felt free to dance with each other and no one objected or even gave them a second look. By 1:00, the crowd was down to basically parents and teachers. The grads had long since left for the various private parties that would probably last all night.

At about 8:30 the next morning, our guys arrived home. None of them looked like they had partied too hard. They just looked exhausted from several late nights and all the excitement and activity. We didn’t see them again until about 4:00, when we ordered out for food. After dinner, no one had enough energy to do more than cuddle up in the family room and watch TV. By 10:00, they were in bed sleeping again.

Within three weeks, the summer was upon us. The boys had been hunting for summer jobs for the past few weeks. They all found jobs, from landscaping and lifeguarding to assisting in a day camp for underprivileged youth, and seemed to be enjoying them–or at least the money they were earning.

Chapter 17